Melancholy. Inspirational. Reflection

I saw a beautiful forest full of fruits, flowers, milk and honey, while walking by the path. And I felt hungry and wanted to try that orchard. But I found strong and violent guards and unfortunately I could not enter. The names of those guards are deceive, dishonor, disloyalty. They were strong and they hurt me while I was simply saying to them : " The fact is that I am thirsty, hungry and I need to Love and be Loved." And with a mocking laugh they told me :
" Love here does not exist, nobody knows what is Love, nobody believes in Love. Everything is a lie." In this way they made me withdraw.
I still feel that I want to be in that field but those guards are strong and hostile and ready to kill with their weapons. I feel the urge to return but the way is not that safe, therefore I feel the incongruous mixture of desire and simultaneously, the ghost of the loneliness.
I want, some day, to be able to touch the doors of heaven and I want that day to happen. My nostalgia has turned into desire, passion but also into darkness. What can I do since I want to enter that orchard and with my lips I want to kiss that pure ground, to place my heart and my arms there and to never leave.
I know that the way exists but the field is closed by those of death, fright, horror and dark hypocrisy.